Sunday, December 9, 2012

Tales From a Stay-At-Home Mom: Not LOST - Just Frustrated.

You know you have a major problem when you're still mad about the season finale of a show that ended almost two years ago.  That's me with LOST - it was my all-time favorite TV series - until the final episode, that is.  I spent a very, very long time watching this well-written, well-casted show, only to find out that the whole, beautifully confusing mess was not in fact a well-crafted tale with a creative and Earth-shattering ending, but a "dream" of sorts in which the characters had to try to work their way out of a purgatory-type place.  They were DEAD the whole time, and because of that one fact, the entire story line no longer mattered.  It wasn't REAL; nothing that happened mattered; the writers sold out in favor of viewer satisfaction.  They did what they deemed necessary to tie up loose ends and resolve conflicts for loyal viewers, but what ended up happening was that they tried a little too hard, losing the very essence of the show in the process (characters and viewers alike were LOST the whole time - until the last episode, that is).  Perhaps some were satisfied -but not me.  I would have been much happier to have seen a real ending that didn't negate the entire lives of the characters; I would have welcomed some frustration and only half the answers; I would have preferred to hold onto the mystery and all that the characters worked for, and still be LOST in the end.

Unfortunately, I can relate my LOST frustrations to life as a Christian.  Some days, (well, most days,) I just want answers, whatever the cost.  Why won't my daughter just sleep?  Why won't my other daughter just listen?  Why did he say those things to me?  How did such-and-such happen?  Why are you letting such-and-such happen?  Since I can't see my whole story and God can, I sometimes wonder why He doesn't just give me a spoiler, a trailer - something that will help me get through tough times.  Instead, He asks me to trust Him to write a better story than the writers of LOST.  My life DOES matter - in fact, God sent His Son to die for me so that I might have life - life in abundance.  If I know from this TV show experience that I would prefer mystery and half the answers (or none at all) as opposed to a bunch of forced answers that attempt to "satisfy" me unsuccessfully, then you would think that I'd be content with remaining in the dark about the story of my own life.  Of course, that's not the case.

Fleshly desires constantly war against spiritual wisdom.  I know that God would never be able to build our characters if we didn't walk through the journey of our lives blindly, in a sense, trusting Him to be our guide; leaning on Him for direction instead of trying to do it on our own; keeping our eyes on the promise of Heaven.  I'm also well aware of the fact that He has given us quite a few answers in His Word.  As for me individually, God will tell me the story I've been longing to hear when I see Him face to face.  The whole story - frustrations, mysteries, joys, disappointments and all - the answers to the whys and hows I ask every day.  However, when I think about standing there before my holy, majestic God, I don't think I will want or need any answers at all.

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